The power of a body-oriented approach

Honestly, do you feel your body well? Or are you mostly a walking head with a body attached to it by chance? And do you occasionally take a moment to check in with yourself consciously? Or do you primarily (or only) check in with social media?

In this blog, I explain more about the importance of feeling. And I explain what a body-centered approach can bring you. Are you joining me?

In this society, we are mostly used to being heavily in our heads. We analyze, plan, look ahead, consider, and so on. And that is important because many of us are also paid for that. Our work often consists largely of working with our heads. The head is therefore extremely important.

You might almost forget that there is also a body attached to that head. A body that continuously sends signals, but that we sometimes can no longer feel very well because the focus is mainly on the head. Moreover, attention can also be consciously diverted from the body as a survival mechanism. Avoidance is something we all, to a lesser or greater extent, use as a coping style.

Feeling can be quite uncomfortable, painful, or sad. Avoidance has its use. It keeps us away from feeling. And that helps. In the short term. But in the long run, it often leads to complaints. Both physically and emotionally and/or mentally. For example, we experience tension complaints, headaches, restless intestines, lower back pain, are excessively irritable or irritated, react harshly to a situation that actually didn't need such a reaction, feel rushed, are more cynical, or self-confidence seems to have vanished. Just to name a few things.

Of course, it is important to rule out that there is a specific (physical) cause for these complaints. If that is not the case, it could very well be that too much attention is focused on the head and too little (or no) attention is given to the body. A sign that you might want to restore your ability to feel.

In my practice, I see many people who live in their heads. They no longer feel their bodies (well). The consequence is that they go beyond their own limits, do too much, and for example become completely exhausted. Then the assignment 'feel which emotion can be felt now' can be quite a challenge.

Sometimes we really have to go back to basics: Sitting on a chair, feeling your sit bones on the seat surface, your feet flat on the ground. After that, I usually take a step towards breathing and muscle tension. How relaxed are your neck, shoulders, and legs while sitting? Are they completely relaxed, or is there muscle tension to be felt?

What is the state of your breathing? Can you notice where the breathing is best felt now? In your belly or in your chest? Is it fast or slow? Are you getting enough air or do you need to breathe deeply?

Seemingly simple things, but this can already be quite a challenge.

The second step is exploring themes. Suppose someone finds it difficult to set boundaries, then we do body-centered exercises to work on this theme. You will be surprised at what can be found within the body.

I like to use myself as an example to clarify this using a theme that I see in many women: I am someone who gives easily. Receiving I find more difficult. I can take good care of others easily and well. I can easily empathize with others (which is indeed very handy in my work), but in doing so, I sometimes also take into account others more than myself. This became clear during a 'simple' exercise in one of my training sessions.

We had to stand apart from each other. One had to make clear to the other with gestures how far that person could come towards you. It was my turn. And I had a good contact with my fellow student. I felt that I wanted a hug from her. So I actually wanted to gesture for her to come closer so that the hug was possible. But while my hand gestured for her to come closer, my head started: what if she doesn’t want to? Then she would come to me and I want a hug while she doesn't want that. Who am I to decide that for her? Doubt set in, and I started gesturing a bit unclear.

During the debriefing, we talked about that moment. The trainer said: 'You started to consider what she might or might not want, while this was about what YOU wanted. And you are also assuming that she cannot set her own boundaries. If she didn’t want that hug and didn’t want to come closer, she could surely indicate that?'

Wow, was that confronting. An exercise that seemed so simple that you wondered what this could possibly bring, laid bare a behavioral pattern that runs deep within me very easily to the surface and became fully visible to others.

The follow-up step is then, of course, to figure out at what moment my head started running and how I felt at that moment. Because by noticing that, I could start recognizing it in other situations. That gave me the opportunity to feel more consciously and act based on that. I learned to make contact with my body better and faster.

Although talking and analyzing can provide a lot of clarity, it is sometimes not enough to really break free from a pattern. And when you are already very much in your head, it is precisely nice to take the entrance of the body instead of using that head for a while. Not easy, but very valuable. And that is the power of body-centered work.

Do you want to know what I can mean for you? Feel free to send me a message. I would love to exchange thoughts with you about whether and how I can guide you.

Sandrine Kwast

WEERinREGIE